LGBTQI+ Allyship FAQ: Everything You Need to Know to Support the Queer Community

Introduction

Many people want to support the LGBTQI+ community but don’t always know where to start. Questions like “What does LGBTQI+ mean?”, “How do I ask someone about their pronouns?”, or “What should I do if I hear a homophobic joke?” are common and asking them is the first step toward becoming a better ally.

This extended FAQ guide answers the most frequently asked questions about allyship, LGBTQI+ inclusion, and practical ways you can make a positive difference.

1. What does LGBTQI+ mean?

LGBTQI+ is an inclusive acronym:

• L: Lesbian

• G: Gay

• B: Bisexual

• T: Transgender

• Q: Queer or Questioning

• I: Intersex

• +: Represents other diverse identities (asexual, pansexual, non-binary, gender fluid, and more).

Using the “+” ensures inclusivity and recognition that gender and sexuality exist on a spectrum.

2. Why is allyship important?

Allyship matters because LGBTQI+ people continue to face discrimination, rejection, and inequality in many areas of life from schools to workplaces to healthcare. Allies can:

• Create safe, supportive spaces.

• Speak up against discrimination.

• Use privilege to amplify queer voices.

• Promote equality in everyday conversations and actions.

Allyship is not about being perfect - it’s about being present, informed, and compassionate.

3. How can I use inclusive language?

Language is powerful. It affirms identity and fosters belonging.

Examples of inclusive language:

• ✅ Say “Hi everyone” instead of “ladies and gentlemen.”

• ✅ Use “partner” instead of assuming “husband/wife” when asking about relationships.

• ✅ Ask: “What pronouns do you use?” instead of assuming.

• ✅ Use “they/them” until you know someone’s pronouns.

💡 Tip: Add your pronouns to your email signature or Zoom name. It normalises pronoun sharing and helps others feel safe to do the same.

4. What should I do if I hear a homophobic or transphobic joke?

It’s important to speak up when it’s safe to do so. Staying silent can be seen as agreement.

Ways to respond:

• Calmly: “That’s not funny, it’s actually harmful.”

• Redirect: “We don’t use that language here.”

• Support privately: Check in with LGBTQI+ people who may have been affected.

• Escalate: If in school or at work, report harassment to leadership or HR.

5. What’s the best way to ask about pronouns?

A respectful, simple question is best:

• “Hey, what pronouns do you use?”

• “I go by she/her - how about you?”

Avoid: Saying “What are your preferred pronouns?” pronouns aren’t a preference, they’re an identity.

💡 Normalising pronoun sharing (introducing yourself with pronouns) sets a welcoming example.

6. How can parents support LGBTQI+ children?

Parental support makes a huge difference in mental health and wellbeing. Research shows LGBTQI+ youth with supportive families are less likely to experience depression, anxiety, or self-harm.

Ways parents can help:

• Reassure them they are loved exactly as they are.

• Avoid dismissive language like “It’s just a phase.”

• Learn about their identity - read, attend support groups (like PFLAG).

• Advocate at school or in sports for inclusivity.

• Model inclusive language and behaviour at home.

7. How can I support LGBTQI+ mental health?

LGBTQI+ people face higher risks of anxiety, depression, and discrimination-related trauma. Allies can:

• Encourage professional support from queer-friendly counsellors or services.

• Share resources like QLife, Headspace, or local LGBTQI+ centres.

• Check in regularly: “How are you really doing?”

• Respect boundaries if they’re not ready to talk.

Sometimes, the most powerful support is simply being a consistent, safe person in someone’s life.

8. How do I support LGBTQI+ people at work or school?

• Ensure policies include sexual orientation and gender identity.

• Advocate for gender-neutral bathrooms.

• Encourage Pride celebrations and LGBTQI+ awareness days.

• Call out discrimination and report harassment.

• Support employee/student resource groups for LGBTQI+ inclusion.

9. How can I support friends or family when they come out?

Coming out is often a vulnerable moment.

Supportive responses:

• Say “Thank you for trusting me.”

• Reassure: “I love you and this doesn’t change that.”

• Ask: “How can I support you?”

• Keep their confidence unless they ask you to share.

Avoid:

• Shocked or dismissive reactions.

• Turning the moment into your story.

10. How can I support the LGBTQI+ community every day?

Allyship is ongoing action, not a one-time act.

Daily allyship practices:

• Vote for equality-focused candidates.

• Support queer-owned businesses and artists.

• Share LGBTQI+ content and amplify voices online.

• Educate family and friends when they use stereotypes or harmful language.

• Show up at community events and fundraisers.

Conclusion: Allyship is a Journey

Being an ally to the LGBTQI+ community is about learning, listening, and acting every single day. You don’t need to have all the answers. What matters most is showing up with respect, compassion, and a commitment to inclusion.

💜 Remember: Allyship is not about perfection - it’s about progress. Together, we can build a world where the queer community is celebrated, supported, and empowered.